it is just me

gosh goodness!!why do i expect so much of myself?i keep having this voice within me saying that, oh ruth, you are far from God, what happen to you, how come you like not trusting God?how come you are in this state now? oh man!!you stupid devil trying to make me think that I am arent anywhere.oh please!daddy God is always with me and He is in me.i m sure i can do this well with daddy God right behind me as my support.watch me!His wisdom surpasses all things!
daddy God, just give me an idea, for my project Lord!!!drop it down upon me!Amen!!!cant wait, i know it will be success but it is like a blocking stone, but i know this blocking stone is meant for me to step up to be a stepping stone!!praise the Lord!i cant wait to conquer this man!a war to fight a war to win!love it:)

hey mom

waking up every single morning, trying to open my sleepy lovely eyes whose eyelids love to kiss one another, my mummy never fails to wake me up.
5am, the time she woke up due to her husband alarm clock, toss and turn and it is already 6.30am, her precious son woke up to prepare for school.ever after 6.30 arrive, her eyes never fail to open and close to check out what her son is doing and is he all ready to go to school.soon, 7am came.her daughter loud alarm rings endlessly as she just lies down on her bed like a log.there she came with her unkempt hair, walking sleepily into her daughter room, sometimes giving her a surprise kiss to wake her up.how wonder my mum is!! :)
these few days really bought me back to my pri sch days.where everything i need to bring to sch are all prepared already. past few days, i was searching high and low for my pink waterbottle to fill and bring to school, finding it shocking that my water bottle has gone missing.was thinking deep down in my heart whether my dad has took my water bottle by accident.but i was not convinced to give up, as so i continue to go on a treasure hunt - my water bottle. which took me a few minutes to find it on the dining table, filled with water!OH MUM!!!how sweet are you!!thank you for your love for me, so unselfish so lovely.how could i ever repay you mum, all you want is for me to rest more, sleep early and be a successful woman in life and a lovely sweet little daughter always by your side..thank you mum!!i believe i can do this as daddy GOD is with me and through Him, I could do all things!! WATCH ME GROW MUM!!WATCH AND SEE!!!
I LOVE YOU MUM!! <3

watch your pretty little favourite daughter become a beautiful glorious eagle soaring in the sky!

hey friend

hey good friend.you are really one good friend who is totally close to my heart.i think i never have such awesome friend before in my life.thank GOD for you.thank you so much.thanks for taking in all my nonsense and entertain my rubbish.been tough for you right?i think so too.i think i am one who should lead a life alone and not pull anyone down with me.right friend??i think i made u suffer too much and i think you should stay far from me and find a better friend ok?i bet you will.you are totally nice and daddy GOD give bless you with a better nicer awesome friend.thank you for everything and i think we should stay further from one another.
just wanna tell u in my heart you are my number one friend :)

Inferior

it has been a long time since i blog.super lazy to blog.really wish no one will read my blog.maybe it is time for me to change to sometime i write just for myself to read that all.

ok.i really wanna share with my cg what i caught at service today seriously.which has been speaking to me the past one week.it is to GUARD MY HEART!!

have been reading dating delilah and this spokes to me and the service spoke to me too.halfway through the week, the Holy Spirit prompted me that i hasn't been hearing sermons for the past few days which i normally do.but i didnt go and on sermon to hear.i continue to just go on with my busy life.had alot of thoughts that ran through my life.mostly is about my future.i used to be so confident about it knowing that it is in daddy GOD's hand and all things will be good.but now i am having second thoughts.my heart was pretty troubled, worried more about two things in life.was pretty emo and heartbroken two days before.was trying to find someone to talk to but i found no one.i felt so heavy hearted.looking and digging for one person to pour out my sorrows.and i give up and turn to the LORD.and it was good.i told myself not to think about it.seriously.

today after feeling so awesome after service.one thing smack right into my face.i have some small outer appearance of me that i feel super inferior about and always wished that nobody sees it or notice it but today.hahahaha.spot on by this guy.gosh!and he message another friend and another guy know about it.gosh!!i am a girl and my fault is known by guys.i know they treated me like a brother but i really wish to be treated like a girl at times.i tried but i think, no use man.i wish i could cut my hair off and make it short and be a guy man.totally.what is good to be a girl?being make fun of and pretend oh it is alright and dun think about it.i seriously think that i need to bang wall ten times and wish that banging the wall will change people thinking and perception about me.i was so sad but thanks love for you to hear my sorrows.i cried on my way home.never walk so heavy hearted home in my life.went to the playground and stared blankly into space.tears flow down endlessly.the worse day of my life.forget it.what is the point of suffering it myself and people dun even know and dun even care.what should i even care about you?guys are just insensitive.to them what is funny they will just share it with their friends.i thought good friends will protect one another and dun let people know their flaws.maybe i am too sensitive.i m having second thought, i think from now on, going to church is equals to wearing long sleeve shirt and long pants, wrap my whole body out.so it is time for me to buy more clothes.praise the LORD man.thanks.i should not be bother about it.feeling so down.it sucks.but this is reality.face it ruth.just stay strong in Christ.all things will be good.i want to go out now!!can someone bring me out for supper for ice cream??i want to eat ice cream, make myself happy :)

friendship

oh gosh!u know what i just realised?!?!i cant believe it.seriously.our close friendship can be easily test by just one girl, just ONE GIRL that u like.gosh!!can u believe it??how can this happen.feel so loser.aiya.dun care la.it is the girl u like, not the guy i like. MY GUY WILL BE JAP-KOREAN!!!i proclaim and claim it in JESUS name!!AMEN man! :) cant wait, but RUTH DUN WANT TO HIT 20 YEARS OLD!!!! no way no!!!GOSH!!

and thank you brother, Avier, Ah Xin and Yang for always being there for me and hearing my cries and trouble.and Praise the LORD for all of you.wonder how terrible life will be without u :(

and CALEB LIM!!! U HAVE GROWN!! GROWN SO MUCH!! SO MATURE!! REALLY IS GOD WHO IS DOING THAT!! I TELL U! GIRLS WILL FLY TO U LIKE BEES FLYING TO HONEY!!

when i told my lovely handsome brother about what happen and my problem, he apply straight to what we received from service: ' GUARD YOUR HEART, LET IT NOT BE TROUBLED' gosh!!daddy GOD is so faithful :)

WAKE UP CALL!

RUTH! WAKE UP!!

you cannot fall into it, once you fall, you couldn't get up and I am saying that seriously, you cannot get up yourself. Rejection sucks! so better not get into it.

I like the life I am leading now, but there is always something that makes me things life would be better where Daddy GOD thinks the other way round.

OH PLEASE GOD!! let me fall in love with you like mad, please let me do that.I WANT TO LOVE YOU DEEPLY!!! and let it all be You who do it and You who saves me out of the depth that I have fallen into.

I Give Up Myself Just For You Oh LORD!!

Use Me!!

thank you ah xin!!

thank you ah xin!!i really thank you for being there for me man!!

really need people to hear my heart man.really thank you for counselling and hearing me out.and your advice is really good!!praise GOD for that.daddy GOD really put you there for reason man.